Tales from school

Part 1

In response to me asking Michael whether anything good happened at school today.

Michael: "There was a guy at school and he was throwing out half his waffle! And it was covered with chocolate! So I ate it."

Me: "Did you know the guy? Is he one of your friends?"

Michael: "Well, I've seen him around. I just went up and asked him for it as he was about to put it in the garbage."

Part 2

From his English assignment, in which he was to describe a food. He chose the kiwi. The paragraph ended something like "it goes down smoother than a bottle of vicodin followed by a frosty cold one."

I really worry about what his teachers think goes on in our household. His father had to ask me what vicodin is. I should probably cut the boy off television.

Part 3

Thursday: We buy him a $14 lunch bag. He takes complex lunches (as a tall 13 year-old male vegetarian) and needs a big container for all his stuff.
Friday: Lunch box gets lost. He has no idea whether he started home with it and left it on the street car/subway/bus, or whether it's still in his locker.
Monday: Yay! Lunch box is apparently still in his locker, but he forgot to bring it home.
Tuesday: Lunch box is no longer in his locker. Perhaps he *started* to bring it home on Monday but left it on the street car/subway/bus.

At least he knows where the lost and found for public transit is. He will be heading there tomorrow if the lunch box has not reappeared in his locker.

Repeat a modified version of the above regarding math textbook. We have taken him to the Central library twice so that he could borrow a copy from the reference desk and copy the homework questions. He is currently keeping an eye on Fr. Malo's office where stray books are supposed to end up.

He asks AT LEAST three times per day: has anyone seen my iPod? It's actually a miracle that he has not lost his iPod, cellphone, or wallet at any time in the past 12 months. If the lunch box and the math text don't turn up, he will be in debt to me until Christmas.